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Dear Rosanna: on thoughtless boyfriends Herald.ie

Also: foreign flings, being young and broke and getting your man to clean up his act

We had amazing sex the other night and then my boyfriend went and said it was the "second best sexual night of his life". I asked him what he meant by this, and he said it was just something he had said in the heat of the moment. I'm 21 and he is 26 and a lot more sexually experienced than me. My big worry is that I'll never be as good as the girls who have gone before me and last night this thought made me feel very self-conscious in bed. I'm worried I'll never be able to repeat the other night and fulfil his desires. I used to think it was only men who worried about their sexual performance.

A: YOU must try to stop worrying about how you fare in bed compared to girls your boyfriend has slept with in the past. He is with you for many reasons, and one of them is because he finds you attractive and clearly wants to be intimate with you.

So what if he has had previous sexual experiences that he has found different or better? You're an individual and the person he wants to be with. I strongly feel that he never meant any hurt or disrespect by what he said to you in bed, he simply just has had more experiences to base it on.

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