Credentials: Blink twice if you were confused by her appearance as "Outsiders" Greaser reject Joe Calderone throughout the VMAs. This would have been slightly less bizarre only if she had come out dressed in officially licensed gear of the Hamilton Nationals in a display of sympathy for them losing to the Boston Cannons in the Major League Lacrosse championship game. Hey, wait till next year, Hamilton Nationals, you might get Joe Calderone to sing the national anthem at your regular-season opener!
Also receiving votes • SEC application process: The nation's most cutthroat college football conference is taking applications for a dance partner for when (presumably) it admits Texas A&M. But the irony about finding the perfect 14th member is that we're guessing it won't come down to someone's sterling résumé. We say the deal-breaker will come down to who has the most consistent on-field mediocrity. The SEC doesn't want another Alabama or LSU wrestling for superiority, and it doesn't want a braniac school competing for bottom-feeder status with Vanderbilt. It wants a program that will consistently go 6-6 to be bowl-eligible and keep its name out of the scandal roundups. SEC member No. 14 can expect to share a boatload of TV money, but shouldn't expect to get within sniffing distance of the league trophy for at least three decades.
